art > OOP

OOP: Order Of Peace- An ongoing journal documenting the release of trauma.

Through methods like these, integrating art into therapy addresses a person’s whole experience. This is critical with PTSD.

OOP (Order Of Peace), is the beginning stages of journaling the release of trauma. The drawings are free of critical thinking. Only after I return to them later, with new insight, do I look at them subjectively. Sometimes reworking them, if ever so slightly, or not. Enhancing a once subconscious thought, bringing it to significance. I allow and invite the mediums influence on the pages that precede, and follow, the current entry. I akin this to working with both history and the future, coming to terms, and finding peace.

Preparing for the Order Of Protection, and ongoing case due to the perpetrator’s intentional absence from hearings and purposeful delays, has me reading countless emails and screen shots of volatile text messages from the perpetrator in order to prepare for his ongoing control of the courts. Sadly, he is manipulating the authorities as he once did me. No longer in his control I am able to speak truth and exhibit facts to prove he is unstable, calculating and violent. He is a narcissist who made the choice to abuse me. These text drawings represent my experience of working through the trauma and triggers in reaction to revisiting these messages where he begs me to come back, promising to change, seek counseling for his abusive behavior, calls me racist if I demand he leave me alone, don’t return to, or communicate with him, makes threats to make me famous with intimate images, and pulls his child into the equation by noting she’ll be without a father should he be incarcerated. Unfortunately he continues with all of these “cards” as he struggles to buy time. Time to hide, as he evades the warrant for his arrest, and time to make attempts to destroy my character. These journal entries are ladened with anger, fear, remorse, and embodies and embraces the experience of a survivor of intimate partner violence and narcissistic abuse. It’s part of healing.



Thursday July 1st, 2020 11:22 am

Hell Is Where Your Heart Is

I’ve been assigned to write
about how you attempt to continue
the depletion of me
as if I were still
your supply.

But what you do not know
is your aim at my spirit
is fuel for my
soul’s survival.

You continue to be the match
that thrives to destroy
but now your madness ignites
the truth.

Burning down the walls
that you hide behind- frantically
craving destruction.

Running from the truth must be
like Hell.

Where you feel at home.