art > unhinged

A must read:Dr. Jane Monckton-Smith, The author and professor of public protection on the red flags of coercive control and how courts should change to give abuse victims an equal voice.

(The items in bold apply to my experience)
The 8 Stages of Homicide — how it plays out.

"To conduct her study, Dr Jane Monckton Smith looked at all cases on the Counting Dead Women website where the woman had had a relationship with the perpetrator - as well as several extra cases such as those of male victims killed by their male partners.

The eight steps she discovered in almost all of the 372 killings she studied were (The steps that match my abuser are in bold):

In her studies Dr. Jane Monckton-Smith found a pattern among 372 killings she studied. All 372 were linked to the following 8 stages:
- The perpetrator had a previous history of stalking or abuse.
- The relationship immediately followed a whirlwind romance (also known as love-bombing) — The abuser wants to draw you in quickly before you realize what they’re really about.
- The perpetrator quickly established a dominance dynamic to maintain control over their partner.
- A trigger event occurred: something prompted the perpetrator to feel a loss of control. The victim might have ended the relationship, begun a new one, or the perpetrator got into financial difficulty. - The perpetrator feels ownership of the victim and cannot accept that they have moved on or that they are not in control.
- Escalation: Control tactics increase notably as things escalate. At this stage, the perpetrator may begin to stalk the victim or threaten suicide as means of manipulating them back into the relationship.
- A change in approach: The perpetrator now decides to move on from previous attempts at winning back the victim. They have now mentally progressed to thoughts of either revenge or killing their former partner.
- Planning: They begin to plot ways of getting the victim alone. They are now purchasing weapons and other paraphernalia to carry out their crimes.
- Homicide: The victim is murdered by their partner. Children and pets may also be killed too. The perpetrator feels entitled to take the victim’s life. The victim is seen as nothing more than a possession. The perpetrator could also take their own life, too."