Psychology Today: Are You a Narcissist’s Flying Monkey? Are you caught up in a narcissist's emotional abuse of others?
"Flying monkeys get caught up in a narcissist’s plan — often to damage the life of another person. The narcissist may use their flying monkeys as piggy in the middle, carrying information from party to party. The flying monkey may use gaslighting tactics, open aggression, and guilt-tripping in order to make another person feel bad and weak, whilst shoring up the narcissist. And they’re often involved in pleading the case of the narcissist. Narcissists love having at least one flying monkey, as it makes them feel important and means they can appear to be above the people below them (on both sides) who are caught up in the messy parts of the drama."
Dealing with the Narcissist's Smear Campaign
"Among the things most experts agree on is that narcissists never go quietly into the night; they do not simply disappear from view but instead practice the scorched-earth policy, leaving nothing but the burned wreckage of relationships and, sometimes, reputations.
Source: Abigail Keenan/Unsplash
One of the more interesting observations offered up by Joseph Burgo in his book The Narcissist You Know is that the narcissist is so committed to his “truth” that his lies may not be conscious. Yes, re-read that sentence and let it sink in. Winning is all for the narcissist, as is never taking responsibility when things go south; while they are always the heroic protagonists when things go right, they loudly declare their victimhood—no matter how unlikely—when things go wrong or have the potential to embarrass them.
The smear campaign is born out of a combination of factors, including the need to be right and have his or her “truth” become the prevailing script, retaining status and standing (making sure that his or her inner hidden shame doesn’t become public), and maintaining control of his or her image. The woman or man high in narcissistic traits curates her or his public persona very carefully; appearing successful, accomplished, and together is all-important."
The narcissist notoriously utilizes social media to create support of his false image. It not only creates and sustains their harem and fan club and need for attention and admiration, but misleads potential prey as Social media, the internet, dating sites and apps are the narcissist's primary forms for obtaining narcissistic supply. These online sources are the narcissist's hunting grounds.
This happens when they can no longer manage to maintain the charade, or the gap between their false self and real self. Hard reality knocks, and the vulnerability of their false self is laid bare. Their looks catch up with them. They’ve pissed so many supporters off along the way that people steer clear. The players in their make-believe world including friends, enablers and flying monkeys wake up to realise that the whole victim narrative was a string of lies and that is they who are the toxic ones, and not their victims. That none of their apparent “success” in life is actually attributable to them but was essentially stolen or borrowed from others. That all of their crazy and abusive exes are in fact not unhinged, but were made to appear that way by all of the crazy-baiting and drama deliberately caused by the narc themselves. Their children wake up to the reality that their normal range parents loved them all along.