Common traits/tactics abusers, predators, narcissists use to lure and hold on to their prey:
SILENCE IS VIOLENCE
I am currently using my art website as a journal and to inform others of Domestic Violence and Narcissistic Abuse. It is an outlet for my voice so that other victims know they are not alone. If you feel the above image text is about you, or smeone you know, and are affected, please seek professional mental and/or behavioral health counseling. Especially if you are affiliated with any organization that assist victims of trauma, or counsel victims yourself, work with youth or any vulnerable group. The integrity of your work is at stake. Are you caught up in a narcissist's abuse of others? Are you a parent? Dealing with a narcissistic parent day in and day out throughout one’s childhood can have a devastating impact on the child. You must not make attempts to silence victims of violence. This website and all of it's content are of me, and by me, Gwendolyn C Skaggs - a victim of intimate partner violence and narcissistic abuse.
The perpetrator made every attempt to manipulate me, control me, isolate me, and silence me in order to maintain the cycle of abuse. He is well aware of his actions. Numerous times he bragged about how he'd make a good cult leader. This is why going NO CONTACT and seeking help after escaping an abuser is crucial. There are numerous reasons why victims stay. On the average it takes 6-7 times for the final escape to hold. It took me four. The fourth time I knew I had to save my life. The abuser will make many attempts to lure you back so that they can continue to manipulate you, cloud reality so you can not see clearly what is happening to you. (Note step #5). I continue to be educated and counseled through trained professionals and recommended reading. I had to learn who and what the abuser truly is in order to begin healing from the impact of trauma due to months of physical, sexual, emotional and mental abuse. The healing process may take months if not years. As Dr. Glenn Doyle states: "I assure you, trauma's not "all in your head." It's also in your heart, your nerves, and your stomach. It's in your trembling hands, your uneven breathing, your vision that suddenly gets blurry. It's not just our head that went through the thing. Every cell in our body was there."
The following are articles I sent to the perpretator many times. Like all abusers, the promise of change is a tactic to lure you back (excerpt from one of his emails below), most often it is a lie, as his continued violence proved:
"OMG, Gwendolyn! Look at the attached image! 70% success rate!!!!! (He added this to the end of every begging email)
- I’m enrolling in class ASAP.
- I will attend religiously.
- I’ll share PROOF with you that I’m getting heip and using it FULLY. small thing for a brain like mine.
- I will hand you my certificate and
- i will follow that with hiring a shrink on my insurance and visiting regularly."
Change starts with a commitment to do so. If you do not wish to be seen as a monster, don't be a monster.
There are different types of intimate-partner abusers, experts say. A subtype often referred to in the field as the Intimate Partner Terrorist is the "worst of the worst," says David B. Wexler, executive director of the Relationship Training Institute in San Diego, a nonprofit organization that designs and runs domestic violence treatment programs. The man is obsessed with power and control, terrorizes his partner, erodes her self- esteem, wields financial control and is jealous and possessive. This type of abuser is almost impossible to change, Dr. Wexler says.
If you are a victim of abuse:
Now more than ever it is crucial for victims of domestic violence to have a safety plan. Click here to see where to start.
Tangled: Escape the 5-Story Tower of Narcissistic Abuse Rapunzel's stairway to hell, from passive to aggressive narcissism. Pt. 1 of 5
What woman, in her right mind, would want another woman, to go through the violence and narcissistic abuse, as she once did?
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